Do You Really Have To Hit Rock Bottom To Change?
The Breaking Point That Becomes the Turning Point
Jenny was the dependable one.
The one who held everything together.
She showed up for her teenage kids, her aging parents, and her siblings, who somehow always had other things to do. She handled school drop-offs, birthday gifts, and doctor’s appointments, often with one hand while answering a work email with the other. She was the family glue, the problem solver, the one who knew what to say in a crisis.
She didn’t consciously choose to live that way. It had just… happened.
Piece by piece, over the years, she absorbed the belief that being needed was the same as being loved.
That being a “good person” meant putting yourself last.
That holding it all together was the mark of strength.
And so she carried it all, without asking for help, without pausing to notice how heavy it had become.
There comes a moment….a breaking point, a wake-up call, a line in the sand….when the life you’ve been holding together starts to unravel.
When everything falls apart.
When the weight becomes too heavy to carry.
When the old way stops being possible.
It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it’s quiet.
But in that moment, you can feel it: something has to change.
Jenny’s moment came when she lost her job.
No warning, no real explanation…..just an unexpected restructuring. She’d worked there for over a decade. Poured in late nights and early mornings, picked up the slack without complaint. And suddenly… she was sitting on the couch, jobless, exhausted, and unsure what to do next.
At first, she tried to keep pushing. She sent out résumés. Took calls from her siblings asking her to run errands for their parents, because “you’re not working now, right?” She felt guilty saying no. She was always the one who showed up.
But this time was different.
She was drained.
And more than that……..angry.
Angry that she was still the one everyone leaned on.
Angry that no one seemed to notice she was falling apart.
Angry that somewhere along the way, her own needs had become invisible……even to herself.
And then, the final blow. Her best friend, Kate……..the one person who truly understood her, was diagnosed with cancer. Jenny couldn’t bring her burdens to Kate anymore. She had to be strong, even in this.
And so there she sat, on the couch, surrounded by silence. No job. No support. No energy. No one to turn to.
Something cracked open inside her.
And something else rose up in that quiet………not a scream, not a plan. Just a quiet but undeniable truth:
“I can’t live like this anymore.”
What Helped Jenny Rebuild from That Moment
Jenny didn’t bounce back. She rebuilt…..one small, honest step at a time. She
1. Explored the beliefs that were keeping her stuck
She started by getting honest about the quiet beliefs shaping her life. The ones that said being helpful made her worthy. That saying no was selfish. That love had to be earned through sacrifice. These beliefs weren’t facts, they were old programs she hadn’t questioned… until now.
2. Rewrote the internal narrative
Jenny began to notice her inner dialogue……the guilt, the shoulds, the stories about who she was supposed to be.
Through reflection and journaling, she started to challenge those thoughts.
She replaced them with truths that felt kinder, steadier, and more aligned with the life she wanted to live.
3. Learned to create boundaries without guilt
Saying no didn’t come naturally at first. But Jenny began practicing it, gently and consistently.
Not out of defiance, but from a deep respect for her own energy and needs.
She realised that boundaries weren’t barriers, they were the foundation of self-respect.
4. Practiced self-trust
For so long, Jenny had outsourced her decisions to others, waiting for their approval, their input, their reassurance.
Now, she began checking in with herself.
What do I want? What feels right for me?
It wasn’t easy, but with every choice, her confidence grew.
5. Said yes to support
Jenny didn’t do it alone.
She joined Returning Home to Yourself , a program that helped her reconnect with who she was beneath the people-pleasing, the perfectionism, and the pressure.
It gave her tools, structure, and the space to heal in a way that finally felt possible.
Jenny’s life didn’t magically become perfect.
Her parents still needed help, and her siblings didn’t always understand.
But something had changed, she had changed.
She no longer lived from obligation but from alignment. She knew her limits and her worth.
And most importantly:
She stopped waiting for others to give her permission to care for herself.
Because sometimes, the life you rebuild, after everything falls apart, is the one that finally feels like home.
If this sounds familiar…
If you’ve been the one who holds it all together,
If you’re running on empty but still saying yes,
If life feels like it’s asking for more than you can give,
You’re not alone.
And you don’t have to hit rock bottom to choose differently.