Internal Power: What it is, Why it Matters and How to Reclaim it.
Internal power is often misunderstood. When most people hear the word power, they picture something external, authority, control, confidence, or influence over others.
But internal power has nothing to do with dominance or status. It’s the quiet, steady ability to stay anchored inside yourself, to trust your inner signals, and to remain connected to who you are even when things feel uncertain or uncomfortable.
This kind of power doesn’t shout or need approval and it doesn’t disappear when life feels messy.
Yet for many people, internal power has slowly been replaced by something far more fragile: the need to be validated, accepted, or perceived a certain way.
Internal Power vs Power Over Others: What’s the Difference?
Power over others relies on hierarchy.
Someone is right, someone is wrong.
Someone leads, someone follows.
Someone holds authority, someone complies.
This kind of power depends on comparison and reinforcement. It must be maintained, through achievement, recognition, status, or control. And the moment those things are threatened, the sense of power becomes unsteady.
Internal power works differently.
It doesn’t
rise when others shrink.
need to win to feel steady.
disappear when you’re misunderstood.
Internal power is the ability to stay connected to yourself, your values, your boundaries, your inner truth, regardless of what’s happening around you.
It’s self-trust in motion.
Why So Many People Feel Disconnected From Their Internal Power
Most people don’t lose their power in one dramatic moment.
They give it away gradually.
By
Learning it’s safer to be agreeable than authentic.
Absorbing the belief that love is conditional.
Being rewarded for over-functioning and self-sacrifice.
Being praised for coping rather than supported for feeling.
At some point, many of us learned that safety, belonging, or worth lived outside of us.
So power became something to earn, manage, or protect.
And the exhaustion that follows isn’t laziness. It’s the cost of carrying your worth on shifting ground.
Related articles:
Self-Doubt and Comparison: Why You Feel Behind Even When You’re Not
Striver Perfectionism: Why You Still Feel Behind Even When You’re Achieving
How to Untangle Your Self-Worth from External Validation
What Internal Power Actually Feels Like
Internal power doesn’t feel loud or forceful.
It feels steady.
It feels like:
Pausing before reacting
Letting discomfort exist without immediately fixing it
Saying “this doesn’t work for me” without over-explaining
Allowing yourself to rest without justifying it
Trusting your timing, even when others move faster
Internal power is present when you no longer need to abandon yourself to feel safe.
Related Articles:
Self-Trust: Learning to Rely on Yourself Again (When Belief Isn’t Enough)
How Your Relationship With Yourself Shapes Your Life: and What to Do If It’s Holding You Back.
Signs You’re Giving Your Power Away (and Don’t Realise It)
So how do you know if you’re giving your power away? Often, the signs are subtle and very normalised.
You may be giving your power away when you:
Second-guess yourself after decisions
Scan others’ reactions to determine how you feel about yourself
Say yes while your body says no
Over-explain to be understood
Responsible for other people’s emotions
Feel unsettled when you’re not being validated
These aren’t personal flaws.
They’re learned survival strategies, ways your nervous system tried to keep you safe.
Awareness isn’t self-criticism.
It’s the first step in reclaiming internal power.
Related Articles:
7 Hidden Confidence Killers You Didn’t Know Were Holding You Back
How Imposter Syndrome Sabotages Your Mental Health
The People-Pleasing Trap: Why We Keep Saying Yes When We Want to Say No
How to Reclaim Your Internal Power: Practical Everyday Steps
Reclaiming internal power isn’t about becoming tougher, louder, or more confident. It’s about coming back into relationship with yourself.
Power returns when you:
listen to your internal signals
honour your emotional responses without being ruled by them
let yourself be human instead of constantly self-monitoring
choose alignment over approval
Here are 5 ways you can reclaim your internal power
1. Honour Micro-Choices
Each time you honour a small preference, when you rest, what you eat, how you respond, you rebuild self-trust.
For example, choosing rest instead of pushing, or saying ‘I’ll think about it’ instead of an automatic yes.
Power grows through consistency, not intensity.
2. Notice the Urge to Explain
Before justifying yourself, pause and ask:
“Do I actually need to explain or do I need to feel safe?”
Sometimes internal power is letting your choice stand.
3. Create a Pause Between Feeling and Action
You don’t need to suppress emotions to be powerful.
Feel the reaction.
Breathe.
Choose your response.
That pause is where agency returns.
4. Let Discomfort Exist Without Fixing It
Discomfort doesn’t mean danger.
Each time you stay present with an uncomfortable feeling, without numbing, overthinking, or self-abandoning, your internal capacity expands.
That capacity is power.
5. Reclaim Ownership of Your Energy
Notice where your energy leaks:
Over-giving
Over-thinking
Over-responsibility
Then gently redirect it back to yourself.
Internal power isn’t about withholding, it’s about self-containment.
The Benefits of Living From Internal Power
When your power comes from within:
Decisions feel clearer
Boundaries feel natural rather than defensive
You stop chasing certainty through other people
You trust your inner timing
You feel less exhausted by proving and performing
Life becomes less about managing yourself and more about inhabiting yourself.
If you’re noticing how often you’ve learned to look outside yourself for certainty or permission, this might be a gentle place to begin.
Rebuilding internal power starts with self-trust, not confidence or perfection, but learning how to come back to yourself when you’ve learned to doubt your own voice.
Internal power is the quiet, steady ability to stay anchored inside yourself.
If you’d like support with this process, you’re welcome to book a time so we can talk it through together.
And if this article resonated but you’d prefer to continue exploring at your own pace, you may find support in these reflections on self-worth, identity, and internal change:
The Psychology of Self-Worth: How to Stop Seeking and Start Believing
Breaking the Imposter Cycle: Understanding and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
The Real Reasons You're Feeling Stuck: 7 Psychological Roadblocks (and How to Move Forward)